Thank-you StatCounter

Dear StatCounter,

Thank-you so much. I needed the good laugh that you gave me this morning. Yes indeed, I needed it very much. When you told me that someone had found my site by googling "teacher or nurse boobs", I laughed out loud. The dog got scared, as my hackling laughter filled the room, but oh how I needed that good laugh. Imagine the surprise of that special person who was looking to fulfill their fantasies about the lovely bosom of teachers and nurses, when google sent them here.

Then, when you told me that someone else was sent to my site when they googled "bare-assed boys", I really lost it. I love you Stat-Counter. And google for that matter. I need to thank google as well. For indeed, I did write about bare-assed boys here. Not exactly what that strange person had in mind, but yes, I have boys, and oh how they love to be bare-assed.

So thank-you StatCounter, keep up the good work. Your entertainment value is priceless. I love you.

One-Liners

Things I have heard in my house lately:

Part of Josh's speech deficit is that all sounds with a G, K, or hard C, sound exactly alike. They all sound like a K sound. So for him, the words got and caught would sound exactly alike. They both come out like "Kot" So just imagine for me, if you would, all G's in the following sentence sounding like a K. And yes, we are VERY sick parents to have found this so funny.

Josh: "I got gum! I got gum!" "Why awe you yaffin? I yuv gum!"


Jake: I need a spoon.
Rick: Well go get yourself one. This isn't a restaurant!
Jake: (takes Rick's hand and drags him into the kitchen, and then points to the wall) "Look!"
Me: (laughing hysterically) OMG! He got you honey! Don't underestimate Jake.

Rick: Boy, that sign says Rest-Stop, not Restaurant! You better get your own stinkin' spoon!


After we saw this:

All the kids thought it was so cool. Then a classic Brooke moment

Brooke: But how did he get his hair to come out the top like that?

All the kids had to laugh, and then all of them tried to explain to her how it was a helmet. That it was made like that.

During a precious moment where Rick and I were alone in the car.
Me: Stop confusing me Bitch!
Rick: Will you stop calling my navigation system that? I LOVE her!
Me: Sorry honey, but what the hell is her name then? You are going to have to name her or I am going to keep calling her bitch.

And the best thing I have heard recently around this house is the word "Mom", spoken many times recently, by Andrew, describing me!!!

Preparing for the insanity

Well, I have some pictures, but not enough. Let me recap...

My BFF eloped. She ended up getting married on vacation with the man she had been dating for about 2 months. She then lost her mind decided to have a halloween ceremony. She wanted Wizard of Oz characters, with a Harley theme for the ceremony, followed by a costume party reception. When she hatched her scheme, I was shocked. Then, I tried my damndest to convince her to drop the Wizard of Oz portion and go Harley all the way. Why? Because I can rock a black leather miniskirt, that's why. I also thought it would be too busy to combine WOZ and Harley together, and that she should stick with one or the other. But, she was set on her scheme, and being my BFF for the last 17 years, I was happy to help out as much as I could.

I went to work on her yellow brick road, and then tackeled my costume. I needed to be this:



I started with this dress, in Ivory, that I purchased for $15 at the thrift store. I dyed it pink with this:




The dress didn't fit, so the back went from this:



To this:



And then I added lots o' tulle on the sleeves and a broach:



Since I am a realist, and not afraid of change, I also tried to dye my hair Glinda for the part. It really didn't come out orange, but it came out like this:



We put it off until the last minute, but really needed to find Rick a costume. He vetoed almost every idea I had, and then he came up with this

Rick's Hero (Not really, but whatever):



So the lighting sucks in this pic, but OMG, this was the funniest shit EVER!!!
Yes indeed that is a grill in his mouth!



Coming next, the Wizard of Oz wedding!!!

Glamorous!

I just laughed so hard I cried. And I was driving, so crying, while doubled over with laughter does not equal safety first. We made it home alive anyway. What I would have given to have my camera with me, because it takes video clips. Oh I can think of many things I would have given up for a recording of this one, including my right arm, my first born, and my wine for a year. (well, actually, let's not get carried away). Anyway, there we were, ALL of us, in the van, and "Glamorous" came on the radio. by Fergie. It's kind of an old song now, so the kids were all excited, and saying how they haven't heard this one in ssssooooo long. So I cranked it up, and the next thing I know, EVERYONE is singing at the top of their lungs. Including Jake and Josh's little voice "....So if you aint got no money take your broke butt home!" At the top of their lungs, and Andrew, who usually lets the girls take center stage. Well, we didn't know it, but Andrew has opera talent. I am so serious right now. Rick said we needed to look into getting him in chorus. He can quiver his voice. So there he was, more like a work of art than hip-hop. Drawn out, voice quivering, holding the note, yet still on beat. "G. L. A. M. O. R. O. U. S." It was beautiful. And I died laughing I almost peed myself.