Em Bare Assed

Conversation with the doctor today during Jake and Josh’s pre kindergarden check-up

Me: So you’re not going to report me to social services or anything?

Dr.: (laughing) nope.

Me: I just wasn’t home when they got up this morning.

Dr.: It’s typical boy behavior.

Me: The majority of the boys you see don’t like to wear underwear?




Conversation with the boys after the check-up

Me: Jake, you are SO tough! You only cried for about 5 seconds, and you got THREE shots!

Josh: Mommy, am I tough?

Me: Yeah, Josh! You are SO tough! You’re AWESOME!

Josh: Mommy, I wasn’t even cwyin.

Me: You weren’t?

Josh: No. I was pwetendin ta cwy.




Conversation with my mom and Rick after check-up

Mom: Well, that’s better than I thought you were going to say.

Me: Are you kidding? Most people put clean underwear on their kids before they take them to the doctor.

Rick: Well, better no underwear than dirty underwear.

Mom: Well, did that permanent marker ever come off where they drew circles around their nipples?