Holy Smokes Batman!

Our house almost caught on fire last night! And I don't know what is going on here, because I have lived my whole life without any fire issues, and now I have 2 almost catastrophes in the time of one year. It was actually almost exactly a year ago that this happened. And now, This:




Okay, now that I am looking at it, I can see how the pictures are not very clear. Let me explain. In our bathroom, when the door is open all the way, there is a lovely perfectly round hole where the doorknob busted through the wall. Well, there used to be a perfectly round hole, until last night. Now it looks like those lovely pictures. Why? Because the boys were trying to kill the spiders. And we DON'T even have a spider problem! How were they trying to kill the spiders? Well, Jake was the lighter, and Josh was the holder. Josh held the toilet paper while Jake lighted it, and then Josh threw it INTO THE DOORKNOB HOLE!!! Holy Smokes Batman!!!

There was smoke billowing out of the hole, and when we ran in, Rick happened to be holding a beer in his hand, so he dumps the beer into the hole. And it is STILL smoking! So I grab this metal bread pan, because I bake bread so much that the breadpan is located in the bathroom, holding lipstick. I dump out the lipstick, fill the breadpan up with water, and pour it into the hole, and all down the wall, and all over the floor. Repeatedly! Because it WOULDN'T STOP SMOKING! Kyley runs in with a gravy boat (from the kitchen, although that thing would probably be good for holding Q-Tips) so I start using it, because it fits into the hole better. Now Rick runs in with the fire extinguisher from under the kitchen sink, and Oh Shit! It doesn't work! And somehow, now Rick has a pair of pliers, and is ripping the sheetrock with the pliers. So I run into the kitchen, and run back in with a large knife, and now he is sawing away at the sheetrock. I am continuing to pour water. And suddenly the power goes out! "OH CRAP!!! I think I just cut through an electrical line!!!" OMG! You should be dead! Sawing through an electrical line with a large metal knife, while standing in water.

He runs back in with a flashlight, because we have to be sure that the fire is out, and it still looks like smoke, and he is still sawing, and I am afraid to dump any more water in there, because the electrical line is probably exposed, but he reassures me that the breaker is completely off, so I am dumping, and he is sawing. We stop. We take a little break to reevaluate the situation, there in the dark, with the flashlight, and it seems that there is no more smoke. A huge sigh of relief. We examine the electical line with the flashlight, and it actually looks fine. Rick heads to the breaker box, telling me to yell if I see any sparks. I hold my breath, and now the lights are on, and nothing is sparking. OH THANK GOD! There is no smoke coming from the hole, the fire is out, and we still have a house.

Coming Soon: We disclipline two 6-yr-old boys who almost burned our house down