Showing posts with label conversation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conversation. Show all posts

Friday, March 6, 2009

Conversations with Josh



Brooke and I went on a shopping trip. We were not home in time for dinner, and stopped to get fast-food at this awesome place, which is my downfall:



She didn't finish her chicken strips, and had put them in the fridge, saying "Rainia can have those for her after school snack tomorrow." So tomorrow came, and was actually yesterday. Is that confusing? Anyway, I pick up elementary school first, which is Rainia, Jake and Josh.

Rainia: What can I eat when I get home?

The girl has an obsession with food. she cannot get enough. I think that because of her extremely hyper-nature, and metabolism, she really is always hungry. She burns it as soon as she eats it.

Me: Actually, Brooke saved her dinner from last night for you. Wasn't that nice?

Rainia: Yay! What is it?

Me: Chicken strips.

Josh: But I wuv chicken stwips too. Did she give me some?

Me: Sorry bud. You're going to have to eat normal snack.

Josh: Why did she give it to Wainia?

Rainia: Everyone knows I am the eater in this family.

Josh: (Is very upset, his face turns red, and he yells) "You awe NOT my leader!"



And on the same trip, the highlight of my day:

They are having a book fair. We always buy books at the school book fairs, and they sent home a catalogue for the kids to look through.



Rainia: Look at the book I want Mommy.



(Rainia's other obsession)

Josh: And wook at the book I want Mommy, Andwew weads these books.



Josh: It's called Diawea of a Wimpy Kid. It's about a kid that poops all the time!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Spankings and Incest (I am not great at this parenting thing)



Jake: Can I spank Rainia?

Me: No.

Jake: Can I spank Josh then?

Me: No.

Jake: When can I spank someone?

Me: Well, you have to wait until you have kids. But first you have to go to college. And then you have to get a really good job and make lots of money. Then you can get a wife. And THEN you can have a kid. Then you can spank it whenever you want to.

Jake: Why do I have to have money to get a wife.

Me: Well, because honey, that's just the way it is. You have to have money, and then you can have a really great wife. What kind of wife do you want?

Jake: Britney.

Me: You want a wife that looks like Britney?

Jake: No. I want Britney.

Me: You can't marry your sister.

Jake: Is it against the law?

Hhhmmmm....You really can't blame the boy, she's gorgeous:

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Maw-Maw

Conversation in the car today after school=

Josh: MawMaw an me have a secwet an I cant tell NO ONE!

Jake: MawMaw and me have a secret too. I can't tell no one too.

Josh: I will tell you my secwet if you tell me yours.

Jake: OK.

Josh: You can't say you don't bewieve me, cuz it's twue.

Jake: OK.

Josh: MawMaw said that I'm Abbie's special guy. An when I'm at her house I can take care of Abbie.

Jake: No she didn't.

Josh: Hey! You Lied! You said you was goin ta beweive me.

Jake: That could'nt be YOUR secret, cause that's MY secret! MawMaw said that Abbie loves me so much. And I can take care of Abbie when I'm at her house!



Mom,

The game is up. How long did those secrets last? Did you REALLY think that they wouldn't find out? And why doesn't anyone want to take care of the dogs that we have in OUR house? Is your dog that much better than ours?



Conversation at dinner tonight after 5 out of our 7 kids have eaten seconds, and Rick has gotten up to eat the last bit out of the pot with the serving spoon.


Kyley: Can I bring the rest of mine over to Grandma's house? When I told her what we were having she asked if she could have some.

Me: Why didn't you say something? We could have fixed her a plate!

Kyley: Well, she said to wait and see if there was any left over.

Me: Ky! We had enough to fix her a plate!

Kyley: Well she said to go ahead and have seconds and whatever.

Me: Josh! Jake! Stop eating! (Scraping everyone's left-over food into a bowl) Oh My God. I can't even believe I'm doing this.

Rick: We feed MawMaw our scraps?



Dear Mom,

I shouldn't have done that. Sorry. Did you like your dinner?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Definition of accident



An actual conversation that happened tonight at the dinner table:

Jake: Ooooh!!! These new cups are cute.

Rainia: Are these glass or plastic?

Kyley: They have to be plastic. I highly doubt that they would buy glass to replace all of the glasses we have been breaking.

Josh: Maybe I will accidentally drop one when I get up to put it in the sink, and then we will know if it's glass or plastic.

Rick: (joking people) Maybe I will accidentally bring you in the kitchen and accidentally spank your butt.

Me: Yeah, Josh, if you plan out dropping the cup, it wouldn't be an accident, it would be on purpose.

Josh: NO! I PROMISE it will be an accident!

Hhhhmmmm...Here I thought I was doing a good job by never disciplining an accident. Like the time Jake broke one of Rick's special Japanese Saki cups. Or the time Josh dropped Andrew's laptop...Is there a definition of accident that I didn't know about?



Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Was this on purpose?



And an Andrew update:

Andrew: My favorite class is my ass class.

Rick: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

Andrew: Yeah, my ass class, it's my favorite. The teacher is really nice.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Rick: What's an ass class?

Andrew: DADDY!!!! I said AAAZZZ.

Rick: Well, what's an azzz class?

Andrew: You know, az. Academic Support. Look, it's on my schedule. A.S.

High Honor Roll

Rainia: Kyley, You are not even an "A" student! You're an "A,B" student.

Kyley: So! Either are you.

Rick: Rainia, that was mean.

Me: Rainia, That WAS mean. Why would you say that?

Rainia: It's true.

Me: So What! It's not a nice thing to say, and anyway, there is nothing wrong with getting a "B"

Rainia: Well, she shouldn't pretend she is then.

Kyley: I never said I was an "A" student!

Rainia: Then why do you have that book?

Kyley, Me, and Rick: HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Rainia: What? She shouldn't.





Sunday, August 3, 2008

I swear they love each other!



A conversation I overheard today between Jacob and Rainia


Jake: I'm gonna wear a suitcase in the wedding. And a tie.

Rainia: You're going to wear a suitcase?

Jake: Yeah, it's black. And a tie.

Rainia: Oh, you mean a SUIT.

Jake: And a tie.

Rainia: Well, I'm gonna wear a tiarra, because I'm going to be a princess.

Jake: You gonna be a ugly princess.

Rainia: Well, you're the ugliest troll in the world.

Jake: Is my teacher gonna be nice at kindergarden?

Rainia: You're teacher's gonna be SO nice. If you say I'm the prettiest princess in the world you can play with my slinky.

Jake: OK. You're the pretty princess.

Rainia: In the world.

Jake: Oh never mind.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Em Bare Assed

Conversation with the doctor today during Jake and Josh’s pre kindergarden check-up

Me: So you’re not going to report me to social services or anything?

Dr.: (laughing) nope.

Me: I just wasn’t home when they got up this morning.

Dr.: It’s typical boy behavior.

Me: The majority of the boys you see don’t like to wear underwear?




Conversation with the boys after the check-up

Me: Jake, you are SO tough! You only cried for about 5 seconds, and you got THREE shots!

Josh: Mommy, am I tough?

Me: Yeah, Josh! You are SO tough! You’re AWESOME!

Josh: Mommy, I wasn’t even cwyin.

Me: You weren’t?

Josh: No. I was pwetendin ta cwy.




Conversation with my mom and Rick after check-up

Mom: Well, that’s better than I thought you were going to say.

Me: Are you kidding? Most people put clean underwear on their kids before they take them to the doctor.

Rick: Well, better no underwear than dirty underwear.

Mom: Well, did that permanent marker ever come off where they drew circles around their nipples?

Monday, June 2, 2008

Selective Hearing

Written 4/21/08

Conversation with Brooke and her soccer coach today after the game:

Coach: "You have a natural kick, and a good dribble. But when you get in the game you act like you don't know what's going on. You act confused, like you don't know which way to go."

Coach walks away.

Brooke: "Did you hear that? He said I was good."

Me: "Uummmmm. Yeah."

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Sparky

Written 3/15/08

I had a near death experience plus God saved all of our stuff.

Sounds interesting right? This is what happened. In getting Rick's belongings out of his other house and storage building, we found a dryer. Since our dryer takes 2 full 70 minute cycles to dry a load of clothes, we figured we would try the one we found and see if it worked before starting to replace heating elements and such in the one we have. So the dryer has been in the middle of the kitchen since our moving furniture marathon. I decided that I would tackle this task while Rick was at work today.

I moved all of the dirty clothes out of the laundry room. (9 people remember, there is never a time that I can recall that the laundry has been all finished.) I slid the old dryer out of its place, and pushed the new dryer into position. When I plugged the dryer up, it was already on, so I quickly turned it off. I slid on the dryer lint hose thing onto the back of the dryer. (I don't know the name of this hose thing, but it is made out of tin-foil type material, and looks like a robot arm. It runs from the dryer into a hole in the floor, under the floor, and comes out of the side of the house.) So when I let go of the dryer-lint robot arm hose, it touched the outlet plug, and sparks started shooting everywhere. They probably shot 4 feet into the air, and continued sparkling like a fire-cracker while I grabbed the dryer and pulled it out from the wall until the robot-arm-hose fell and the sparks stopped. I took a deep breath and decided that I would wait until later to finish this particular chore. Quite a bit of smoke was coming from the laundry room, so I opened all of the windows and sent the kids outside. I was very impressed with the amount of smoke that electrical sparks cause, and shortly decided to leave the house myself. I went over to my mother's house and called Rick at work to tell him about my near death experience.

I let him know that if I had been touching the robot arm or had been in a different position, I would have been fried. After a long conversation of making sure that he was grateful that I was alive, I decided to take a nap. What else do you do when you narrowly escape death by electrocution? Plus, I wasn't feeling very well today. When Rick got home a couple of hours later, I woke up and we went into the laundry room so that I could reenact the whole thing. While in there, he noticed a loud water sound, and went into the kids bathroom on the other side of the wall, but they didn't have any water on. So, outside and under the house he went to investigate. He came back in to tell me to come outside.

Our house had been on fire! Apparently the robot-arm-hose was full of lint, and the sparks had started it on fire. it completely burnt up, catching the surrounding wood, sheetrock, and insulation, all the way out to the dryer-exhaust hole in the siding of the house. There is melted siding and burn marks all around the exhaust hole. The way that God put out the fire, is that the fire burned into the water pipes that supply the washing machine, and they were spraying like crazy, putting out the fire.

I had never even thought to check if the electrical sparks had started a fire, and although I was amazed at the amount of smoke, I thought that it had come from the sparks. The smoke was actually coming from our house burning up while I walked around and opened windows. I have no idea how long our house burned before God put out the fire, but I am grateful.

So this was very exciting, and amazing, but Rick is now disgusted. He started to pull out the burnt-up insulation and sheetrock from under the house to get to the melted pipes to fix the water leak, but it got dark and he worked all day, so we have our main water line cut off, and tomorrow it looks like he has his work cut out for him. So that is how I nearly got electrocuted and we nearly lost our house. And praise God that he put out the fire.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Discarded

Recent Conversation:

"You are so disgusting. And retarded. Do you know what that makes you?"
"Discarded?"
"Exactly."