The New Cast of Characters

I am Heidi, aka Doodlebelle. I grew up in the beautiful town of Burlington, VT. I now reside in a rural area outside of Charlotte, NC. I have custody of my three step-children, as well as my four biological children. I am trying to navigate this world, keep my sanity, and laugh everyday while parenting 7 kids. Sometimes I do a good job of it. I enjoy reading, dancing, singing loudly in the car, losing my shit, and procrastination.


This is Brittney aka Weirdo. She is the twin of Brooke, (She is the older twin.) She enjoys her horse, reading, and being moody. She also enjoys thrashing around wildly while dancing, and completely ingoring me when I ask her a question.


This is Brooke, aka Miss Social. She is the twin of Brittney. She enjoys soccer, her friends, her phone, and her computer. She also enjoys dancing in the living room while watching her reflection in the TV, and arguing with her siblings. If ever she goes missing, you can find her in the bathroom, straightening her hair or taking pictures of herself for myspace.


This is Kyley, aka The Genius. She is super intelligent, and extremely weird. She enjoys her horse, her music, reading, and watching TV. She also enjoys sighing heavily and stomping when asked to do anything.


This is Andrew, aka Super Recovery Boy. He lives with brain cancer. He is funny and amazingly resilient. He enjoys playstation, computer games, drawing, talking back, and trying to get out of chores and school-work.


This is Rainia, aka Lil Mama. She is bubbly, fun and hyperactive. She enjoys competitive cheerleading, writing, being a princess, eating, telling everyone else what to do, and bossing around whoever she can.


This is Jake, aka Rotten. He is the twin of Joshua. He is funny, sarcastic, and entertaining. He enjoys action figures, bugs, dancing, making people laugh, being the center of attention, trying to annoy people, and ruling this family.


This Josh, aka Sweetness. He is the twin of Jacob, the youngest in the family. He is loving, sweet, and affectionate. He enjoys Computer games, Playstation, sports, singing, Showering people with hugs, and screaming at the top of his lungs when he doesn't get his way.


To contact me: iamdoodlebelle@gmail.com

MRI results

We got back late this evening. I know you are dying to know, so I wont keep you waiting. The tumor looks the same! That is fantastic news. Also, that is one Drs. opinion. The other Dr. said that he thought it looks like it went DOWN a small amount. We are ecstatic, and counting all of our blessings. I know that when we switched our medical team from Charlotte to Duke, they told us that radiation would NOT have been their choice of treatment. We know what the side-effects are. But, thank God, the stuff is working!!! I hate it that he has known and unknown long-term damage from the radiation, but Holy crap, it's working! I guess we are lucky, as far as statistics go. I know that if we had started our treatment at Duke, radiation would have been a last-resort, it would have come after chemo. I don't know why the Charlotte Drs. pushed for radiation BEFORE chemo, but as of right now, today, I am grateful that they did. (That is said with full some not enough understanding of the long-term effects that might pop up later.)

One of the Drs. even said something about not needing another MRI for a year. Of-course, being a worry-wort, I said I prefer 6 months, and the other Dr. agreed. So six months it is. We wont go back until August, unless Andrew's balance, coordination, etc. gets worse.

Thank-you so much for keeping us in your prayers, they are working!

I'm scared.

Pray for us, or cross your fingers. We are headed up to Duke. Andrew has another MRI tomorrow. Let's pray that this isn't the one where they tell us he needs to start chemo. I am definately going with them, because I don't want this to happen.

And to prove the vision problems

Conversation as soon as I picked up the kids today:

Andrew: Oh my God, guess what?

Me: What?

Andrew: I got in the wrong van today.

Me: Oh No. You're kidding me. What happened?

Andrew: It pulled up and stopped right in front of me, so I opened the door, Then I looked harder at the woman, and she had glasses, and I thought This isn't my mom. I didn't say that though.

Me: What did you say?

Andrew: Nothing.

Me: What did the woman say?

Andrew: She just said Wrong van.

Me: Oh man, that sucks. I'm so sorry that happened. Did anyone else see it?

Kyley: SO many people saw it. Everyone was laughing.

Andrew: Yeah. Everyone saw it.

Me: Oh no. Were you embarassed?

Andrew: Well, not really.

A Blind Witness?

Dear Guidance Counselor,

I understand that you did not see what happened. I would recommend that next time you choose a student to be your witness, you choose one who does not have vision problems due to a brain-tumor. Also, when he told you that he didn't see what happened, I don't appreciate you calling him a liar, and telling him that if he didn't start telling the truth that he would get suspended. Yes, he is seated in the front of the class, it is in his DOCTOR'S ORDER. This doesn't make him the class babysitter. Uummm, that would be the teacher's job. Where was she at? Next time you choose a witness, choose one who can see. And also, you are the GUIDANCE COUNSELOR. Is it your regular practice to treat kids like this? Seriously? Oh-yeah, one more thing, my fiance didn't appreciate you intimidating his son, and he also didn't appreciate that when I went into the school to explain the situation to you, you were in no way apologetic, and in fact, when I told you that Andrew couldn't see, your reply was "Well, can he hear?" He didn't do anything wrong. When you got there, he was still seated nicely in his chair. I can't even believe that you were threatening SUSPENSION because he didn't make a good enough witness for you. JERK!!!

One-Liners

Things I have heard in my house lately:

Part of Josh's speech deficit is that all sounds with a G, K, or hard C, sound exactly alike. They all sound like a K sound. So for him, the words got and caught would sound exactly alike. They both come out like "Kot" So just imagine for me, if you would, all G's in the following sentence sounding like a K. And yes, we are VERY sick parents to have found this so funny.

Josh: "I got gum! I got gum!" "Why awe you yaffin? I yuv gum!"


Jake: I need a spoon.
Rick: Well go get yourself one. This isn't a restaurant!
Jake: (takes Rick's hand and drags him into the kitchen, and then points to the wall) "Look!"
Me: (laughing hysterically) OMG! He got you honey! Don't underestimate Jake.

Rick: Boy, that sign says Rest-Stop, not Restaurant! You better get your own stinkin' spoon!


After we saw this:

All the kids thought it was so cool. Then a classic Brooke moment

Brooke: But how did he get his hair to come out the top like that?

All the kids had to laugh, and then all of them tried to explain to her how it was a helmet. That it was made like that.

During a precious moment where Rick and I were alone in the car.
Me: Stop confusing me Bitch!
Rick: Will you stop calling my navigation system that? I LOVE her!
Me: Sorry honey, but what the hell is her name then? You are going to have to name her or I am going to keep calling her bitch.

And the best thing I have heard recently around this house is the word "Mom", spoken many times recently, by Andrew, describing me!!!

Parent-teacher Conferences

Yesterday was parent-teacher conference day. Always a big deal in our house, but this year was different. Having the boys in Kindergarten means we now have 7, yes SEVEN conferences to go to. How do you attend 7 parent-teacher conferences? Let me tell ya. Bear with me, one day my kids will look back on this, and want to know. So here we go...

First of all, for some reason, which I am still trying to grasp, only three out of our 7 dwarfs were responsible enough to bring home the sign-up sheets. On the sign-up sheets, you tell the teacher what 3 times would work for you, and then they send home a note with the time of your conference. So Rainia brought home her sheet, and was scheduled accordingly. As were the Kinder boys. For the unknown reason uummm...irresponsibility, NONE of our middle-sch. students got scheduled. So Wed. I told the kids they better get me a conference time. So Andrew did. They just listen so well. That left 4 out of 7 conferences actually scheduled.

So they got out of school at noon. The kinder-boys and Rainia took the bus as usual, and I headed to pick up Andrew and Kyley. As soon as I got there, Kyley says "I got you a time! And it's RIGHT NOW!" Quick internal conflict: Brooke and Brittney are waiting on me at the other Middle School. Rick is only going to be able to work until 1:30 today. The teacher's are waiting for me in the school. Shit! OK, let me just run in here and get this one down, and that will only leave six more. So I run into the school with Kyley and Andrew, have the conference, and run out. Kyley is on honor roll, 3 A's, 2 B's. PROUD!!!

We jump in the car and quick-drive over to the other middle-school. B&B get in the van. "Did you get me a time?" Nope. "Well girls, you are not getting out of this. Get your little butts in there and get me a time." Brooke runs back out to inform me that the teacher's can do RIGHT NOW. So I head into the school to explain that Rick really wants to be there, and can we get a later time? 3:30 is agreed upon, and we head home.

I get home to find Jake in his underwear and socks OUTSIDE which he knows he is not allowed to do. I quickly get him dressed, grab Josh, and we head to pick up Rick. We get to elementary school, a couple minutes early, so hit the book-fair. After Josh chooses a book for himself and Andrew (AAWWWWW), and Jake chooses a pointer, Yes people, a pointer, we head over to Kinder-building. Jake's conference is first. He is on grade level, did not identify a rectangle for his teacher. (WTF?) He sometimes has trouble staying on task, and Occasionally has attention issues. And oh, by the way, do you know how funny your son is? Uummm, yeah.

Josh is next. He is above grade level in every area, and unfortunately, even though he obviously has a speech deficit, he is not eligible for school-speech because he is reading. He is ready to start the "AR" program (accelerated reading) They will only fund speech classes if the deficit impairs his learning. He knows what the letters are, can identify them, and can sound them out into words (even if the words don't sound right). Internal dialogue: My kid is reading? Hhhmmm, why didn't I know this? Note to self= Have Josh read you a book. Damn, have Josh read Jake a book, let him take care of the night-time story from now on. This will definitely leave more time for wine. Also, apparently Josh doesn't know how to walk. He hops in line, and has to be told on a regular basis to stop jumping, skipping, etc.

We drop J&J off at home, and pick up B&B. We get to Middle Sch.#2, and they are having parent-student conferences, instead of parent-teacher conferences. We flip a coin, which makes Brooke's turn first. She reads off her grades, and the essay she has written on why her grades are what they are, and we are proud! 3 A's, 3 B's, and 1 C. Brittney is next, can someone say Proud Parents? Honor Roll! 3 A's, 4 B's. Then her math teacher jumps on her because she has the potential for an A, and received a B. Internal dialogue: Woman, you have about 2 seconds to shut-up. You are chastising my kid, who is on HONOR ROLL. Leave her alone.

We drop off B&B, and have about an hour before we need to be back at elem. for Rainia's conference. We use this time wisely of course. (We walk around the property, and decide where we will have our HUGE fantasy house built.) We then get Rainia, and head back to elementary sch. Another trip to spend $$ at the book-fair, and then on to the conference. We love Mrs. F, Kyley had her last year, and I use the time to gossip about our middle school kids. Her daughter is in Kyley and Andrew's social circle. Oh-yeah, and we spend some time talking about Rainia. 2 A's, 1 B, and 1 C. Proud!!! Oh, and she is citizen of the month this month, and will be getting an award tomorrow. Plus, she will not be taking Sierra to the bathroom anymore. Sierra is disabled and needs to use the special bathroom in the office, but Her and Rainia have been stopping to socialize with Mrs. Principal, and have been missing too much class-time. Internal=Uuummmm...who socializes with Mrs. Principal? Hhhmmm, my kids are nerds...I wonder if she gets close enough to Mrs. Principal, will she get some sort of award? Will Mrs. Principal take special interest in the boys? You go little brown-noser!!!

We get home with just enough time for the girls to quick-change into cheer-leading clothes, and to grab Andrew. YAY!!! ALMOST DONE! We drop off Brooke and Rain at Cheerleading, and head over to Middle Sch.#1. We are the last conference of the day. (It is 6:45) Andrew is doing great, but is missing his math workbook, and a library book. He has 1 A, 2 B's, and 3 C's. This is really a great report card, considering how much harder he has to work compared to the other kids. On our way out, we check his locker, and find missing workbook, and missing library book. Relief. And we are Done!!!

Until 8:00, when we have to leave again to pick up the girls at cheer. Busy, busy day. And I wouldn't have it any other way. WooHoo!!! We have amazing kids! And are SSOOOOOO Proud, of each and every one of them!

Glamorous!

I just laughed so hard I cried. And I was driving, so crying, while doubled over with laughter does not equal safety first. We made it home alive anyway. What I would have given to have my camera with me, because it takes video clips. Oh I can think of many things I would have given up for a recording of this one, including my right arm, my first born, and my wine for a year. (well, actually, let's not get carried away). Anyway, there we were, ALL of us, in the van, and "Glamorous" came on the radio. by Fergie. It's kind of an old song now, so the kids were all excited, and saying how they haven't heard this one in ssssooooo long. So I cranked it up, and the next thing I know, EVERYONE is singing at the top of their lungs. Including Jake and Josh's little voice "....So if you aint got no money take your broke butt home!" At the top of their lungs, and Andrew, who usually lets the girls take center stage. Well, we didn't know it, but Andrew has opera talent. I am so serious right now. Rick said we needed to look into getting him in chorus. He can quiver his voice. So there he was, more like a work of art than hip-hop. Drawn out, voice quivering, holding the note, yet still on beat. "G. L. A. M. O. R. O. U. S." It was beautiful. And I died laughing I almost peed myself.

Interims

Interims today.

But first, Rainia woke up with her eye red and swollen half shut, but at least her Dr. office was open, so we didn't have to go to the ER. They are not positive, so they are treating her for pink eye and allergies.

Now, Interims. It's only half way to the report cards so we have time to pull them up, but I am very excited anyway. ALL are better than last year. My kids are AWESOME!!! I am so proud of them!

Brooke:
3 A's
2 B's
1 C

Andrew:
2 A's
2 B's
2 C's

Brittney left her's at school, and Rainia was sick, and drumroll please......

Kyley:
A
A
A
A
A
A

For the first time!!! She has always had a B in math! We are VERY excited!!! And now, Kyley CAN read this book

Cut the boy some slack!

OK, another look into the e-mail inbox. Man, that seems to be all this blog is about lately. Alright, I promise, this is the last one for a while. And, in this one I was VERY nice, because I know when to use the honey to catch the bees.

Ms. Teacher,

Hi!

I have a concern about Andrew today.

He says that he is positive that he put his homework folder in the appropriate place. He says that when you looked it wasn't there. He says that he had break detention because of it. He is worried that he will continue to have break detention, and not get homework passes because now he doesn't know where the folder is.

I know that he is trying extremely hard, and was so excited to get a homework pass last week.

Background info:

Andrew has cancer, and has no vision in one eye and limited vision in the other. He has had radiation treatments, which have affected his cognition. We are waiting for his first IEP meeting, have already spoken to a counselor, and understand that they will schedule it as soon as they can.

I only bring this up because is there any way that he could have placed the homework folder close to the box and not actually in the box due to his vision problems?

I looked through his bookbag and it is not there. I am more than willing to help him look through his locker, but I am hoping to avoid having to come to the school to help him find it, as this would be embarrassing for him.

Please let me know if you have any suggestions, as I am not sure what to do to help him.



Thanks so much,

Heidi Underhill McQueen

And the e-mail I received:

Ms. Underhill,

Andrew's folder was found. It was placed into the wrong class's homework tray. Since it was not signed, I gave it to the student in that class who has the same class number as Andrew. During planning yesterday, I checked into what happened to Andrew's folder. The other student returned it to me this morning and I then gave it to Andrew and explained what happened. Hopefully he will remember to bring it home tonight and you can sign it.

Thanks for your understanding and have a good day.

Ms. Teacher

I completely understand that we haven't had an IEP meeting yet. But we TOLD Ms. Teacher that Andrew had cancer and vision problems. When he told her that he turned it in during class that day, and she couldn't find it, could she not just take a little peek into the tray right next to the "correct" tray? It would have been on top of the pile. Did she HAVE to give him detention for placing it the wrong tray? OK, I understand it was his fault, but he has been trying SO hard. And now he has a DETENTION on the record. blah! Cut the boy some slack!!!

Was this on purpose?

And an Andrew update:

Andrew: My favorite class is my ass class.

Rick: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

Andrew: Yeah, my ass class, it's my favorite. The teacher is really nice.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Rick: What's an ass class?

Andrew: DADDY!!!! I said AAAZZZ.

Rick: Well, what's an azzz class?

Andrew: You know, az. Academic Support. Look, it's on my schedule. A.S.

Hooray!!!

Everything looks great!!! I am so happy. The tumor has actually gone DOWN since the last MRI, meaning the radiation is still working. YYYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! I will post exact size measurements when Rick gets home with the paperwork. The Dr. says that the dizziness was probably caused by the tumor changing (shrinking). I guess that the attitude was simply 11 year-old-boy!!! Totally normal, but at least now we can feel more comfortable disciplining. lol. He doesn't even want to see us again for another MRI until Jan. unless Andrew shows symptoms. PHEW! Rick says he feels like 600 lbs. was lifted off of his chest, and I feel the same. Now to get ready for our camping trip...

Let them teach eachother

Hey All!!! We go up to Durham this evening. Andrew has a MRI early tom. morning, and then an appointment for us to get the results. We are praying that everything is OK. It's so difficult with his tumor to know what is normal and what isn't. He has had more of an "attitude", but is it from the tumor or is it because he just turned 11, and is testing the territory? He has had decreased appetite, but is it from the tumor, or is it because he's not going through a growth spurt right now? He did have a couple days of dizziness, but is it from the tumor? or did he have a little virus? We just never know. It's so scary to deal with this. Where his tumor is located, and the kind it is, eventually it will start growing again, and he will need to start chemo treatments. We just pray that the day is not today. Lets hope that the radiation is still doing it's thing, and we don't have to worry about more treatments right now.

I will leave you with a video of him, taken by Kyley without his knowledge. This is SO hilarius to us. He still has not regained full control of his right arm and hand, and he has a limp. All curtesy of the surgery. In this video, he shows that these things can have a distinct benefit.

Parenting 101 Lesson 4: What you can't teach them, let them teach eachother

Always Amazed

If you haven't been following my posts, I am so amazed at the care we receive at Duke Children's. I wanted to share with you an example of their commitment. Here is a copy of the e-mail I sent to his medical team at 9:39pm :


Dear Team,

I'm really not sure who I am supposed to e-mail about scheduling, Andrew McQueen, has an appointment with Dr. Grant on July 14th. We have noticed an increasing "attitude" for about a month, as well as lower energy for about that long. Now, he has complained of dizziness for 2 days. He also needed assistance walking once yesterday and once today. I was wondering if we should get an MRI scheduled sooner?


Thank-you,


Heidi Underhill
XXX-XXX-XXXX


Here is the reply we received at 9:43pm :


Hi there. We will try to move things up to see him sooner.
Latonya will give you a call.

Best regards,

Gerald Grant, M.D.
Assistant Professor, Pediatric Neurosurgery
Duke University Medical Center
Box 3272, Durham, NC 27710
Tel: (XXX) XXX-XXXX
Fax: (XXX) XXX-XXXX


And the reply we received at 9:46pm :

Yes, we can see him earlier as necessary. However, i would be at the ISPNO meeting from June 29th through the 3rd.

SG

**********************************************
Sri Gururangan, MRCP (UK)
Associate Professor of Pediatrics and Surgery
Director, Pediatric Clinical Services
The Preston Robert Tisch Brain Tumor Center
Duke University Medical Center
047 Baker House, Trent Drive
Durham, NC 27710

Tel: XXX.XXX.XXXX
Fax: XXX.XXX.XXXX


I am just amazed that within 7 minutes, we had received 2 replies. Did I mention that I love them? Also pray, or cross your fingers, or whatever you do. Keep Andrew in your thoughts.

Quality Time

Written 5/2/08

I have not updated in quite some time, but that is because of all the insanity raising 7 kids requires. I was about to say that nothing too interesting has happened around here but then I remembered that our lives are interesting simply because there are SO MANY of us.

Andrew went back up to Duke for a vision exam. They had told us in Charlotte that there was nothing that they could do about his vision, but after finding so many differences between Duke and Charlotte we decided to get a second opinion on that. Unfortunately they said the exact same thing. There is nothing that they can do about the vision issues. His eye has nerve damage, and the nerve is actually a different color in his “bad” eye. So no vision out of that one. His “good” eye is still not going to be affected by using glasses, they said that his is not a near or far sighted problem, but a focus issue.

I kept the boys home from daycare last Fri. because I didn’t have to work, and wanted to spend some quality time with them. During our quality time, I was in my bedroom watching Dr. Phil and they were in the living room watching Dora. Joshua threw a toy at Jacob, hitting him square in the middle of the eyebrows causing an intense amount of blood, tears, and guilt. I found Josh hiding under Brooke’s bed, I wanted to hide under my own bed, and even Dr. Phil felt bad. I rushed him to the ER, where they glued his gaping hole into a tiny scratch.

Unfortunately, the other boys at daycare can’t seem to resist reaching out to touch the purple circle in the middle of his eyebrows, but it should fall off on its own in a couple of days.

Rainia does have to have the tubes put in her ears, and she was x-rayed today to see if she also needs to have her adnoids removed at the same time. She seems to be very excited at the prospect of having surgery, and I for one, can’t wait to be her caretaker during the recovery process, because I love how she needs me EVERY 2 SECONDS when she has a cold.

There's no place like home

written 4/20/08

Kyley and Andrew arrived home safe and sound at 9:oo last night. Right on time. We spent the next couple of hours looking at their pictures and talking about their trip. We are all very glad to have them home all of the kids missed them very much.

Missing links

Written 4/19/08

Kyley and Andrew will be coming home tonight! We miss them terribly, and are very excited to hear all about their trip.



Photographer= Rainia Underhill

Talented Mechanic

Written 4/16/08

Well people, Kyley and Andrew are gone on their Outerbanks field-trip. Rick and I were up until 2:00 am last night, and finished everything this morning to get them ready for a four-day-trip. Why were we up until 2:00am and still didn’t finish? Because we have only known about this trip for EIGHT MONTHS. That’s why.

Rick wanted me to report on his job. As you may know, he owns a used car-lot. Because Rick has a full-time mechanic at the shop, when he sells the car, he explains to the customer that if the car breaks-down, he will fix it for a much lower rate than a garage. This keeps the customer happy, which in turn, brings him more customers through word of mouth advertising. Happy customers = More customers. So now for the story:

He had a customer coming in every-other week to make her payment. Every time she came, she was in the passenger seat of someone else’s car. He assumed that her son was using the car that she bought from Rick. After approximately 3 months of this, when she came in to make her payment, she said that the car had been broken-down for a few months, and she thought that she had saved enough money to get it fixed. Rick was shocked, and explained that he wished she would have told him, as he could have fixed her car and worked out a financial arrangement with her. He towed her car back to the shop that same day to fix it. She was quite surprised when he called her within 15 min. to tell her that her car was fixed, and it wasn’t going to cost her anything but the tow bill.
“Well, how did you fix it?” she asked.
“I put gas in it”

I would love to say that this is the only time this has happened. It’s not. Three times now this has occurred.

The lesson of this story? I’m not the only one who has to call Rick when I drive the car completely out of gas.

Growth Spurt

Written 4/15/08

Andrew and Kyley leave for their outerbanks fieldtrip tomorrow. They are SO excited. Rick and I have been busy getting them prepared.

Rick and I have also been busy finally doing some of the executer duties for his mother's estate. She passed in Oct., he was named executer, and what this has taught us is to get our affairs in order.

The ultimate Jakeism. I'll call this one Growth Spurt:

Jake: "In five days my buttocks will grow."

This came out of nowhere. I guess he wasn't comfortable with the 2 min. he had gone without getting any attention. Well, he certainly got our attention with this one.

Berd

Written 4/2/08

Congratulations to my berd* and her team for winning 1st place in the Battle of the Books for the first time in her elementary school's history.

We got the results back from Andrew's neuro-psycological assessment. It is very interesting, but we are still trying to decipher it. Maybe we should have Kyley explain it to us?

They are getting ready to go on the outerbanks field-trip. Rick is definately not going, but now we are questioning that decision. They said there would be A LOT of walking, students have to carry their own luggage, they will need to wear sweatshirts and coats, shed them and carry them, etc. All normal activities, but things Andrew might struggle with.

Brooke has her 1st soccer game tomorrow, and then the boys start T-ball on Sat.

That's all I have to report for today, except that next week is spring break for our school system and I am SO excited. I need a break.

-Heidi

*berd- beautiful nerd