I knew they were out there.

So I quit. Yes, I stopped writing. It was just too much, mainly because what I want to say, what is on my mind, in my mind, consuming my life, my every waking moment, is so insanely difficult and personal to my family, that I just can't do it. I know that I cannot get on here and pretend everything is ok. Nor can I get on here and try to find some part of my day not affected by the BULLSHIT that I can write about. Because it's superficial. Yet I cannot write about what is real, as my blog is not anonymous. I have never tried to be anonymous. My blog is full of pictures, first and last names, probably even locations. I have never lived a life that I would need to be anonymous about. I am who I am, and if you don't like it, GO AWAY! But this, this is not mine to share. This was not my doing, not anything that I chose, and not something that I am willing to present to the world. And I am so grateful that I didn't.

Kyley told me today that while in computer class, they had "free-time", so her and her friend read my blog. Yes people, it happened! Just search my name, search any of my kids names. Because of this, I have always been open with my kids that I have a blog, though they have never shown any interest in reading it. It happened! And I had the insight to NOT share. Even had I not shared the details, the pain would have seeped through, because I thought about it. I thought that maybe if I just shared my pain, my feelings, it would be ok. But I'm glad I didn't.

Maybe I should go anonymous? Maybe if I just give it a little more time, I can get back to writing something that doesn't involve heartache. Either way, I love you kids! I will never do anything to hurt you or embarass you. Ky, I'm glad you came here and found love and humor.

Pride

Josh: Mommy, I'm so proud of you!
Me: You are? Thanks.
Josh: You're welcome.
Me: Why are you proud of me, Josh?
Josh: Because you always take us to school.

Yes people, I am appreciated around here for my greatness.

The New Cast of Characters

I am Heidi, aka Doodlebelle. I grew up in the beautiful town of Burlington, VT. I now reside in a rural area outside of Charlotte, NC. I have custody of my three step-children, as well as my four biological children. I am trying to navigate this world, keep my sanity, and laugh everyday while parenting 7 kids. Sometimes I do a good job of it. I enjoy reading, dancing, singing loudly in the car, losing my shit, and procrastination.


This is Brittney aka Weirdo. She is the twin of Brooke, (She is the older twin.) She enjoys her horse, reading, and being moody. She also enjoys thrashing around wildly while dancing, and completely ingoring me when I ask her a question.


This is Brooke, aka Miss Social. She is the twin of Brittney. She enjoys soccer, her friends, her phone, and her computer. She also enjoys dancing in the living room while watching her reflection in the TV, and arguing with her siblings. If ever she goes missing, you can find her in the bathroom, straightening her hair or taking pictures of herself for myspace.


This is Kyley, aka The Genius. She is super intelligent, and extremely weird. She enjoys her horse, her music, reading, and watching TV. She also enjoys sighing heavily and stomping when asked to do anything.


This is Andrew, aka Super Recovery Boy. He lives with brain cancer. He is funny and amazingly resilient. He enjoys playstation, computer games, drawing, talking back, and trying to get out of chores and school-work.


This is Rainia, aka Lil Mama. She is bubbly, fun and hyperactive. She enjoys competitive cheerleading, writing, being a princess, eating, telling everyone else what to do, and bossing around whoever she can.


This is Jake, aka Rotten. He is the twin of Joshua. He is funny, sarcastic, and entertaining. He enjoys action figures, bugs, dancing, making people laugh, being the center of attention, trying to annoy people, and ruling this family.


This Josh, aka Sweetness. He is the twin of Jacob, the youngest in the family. He is loving, sweet, and affectionate. He enjoys Computer games, Playstation, sports, singing, Showering people with hugs, and screaming at the top of his lungs when he doesn't get his way.


To contact me: iamdoodlebelle@gmail.com

I have custody of 7 kids!

Wow, I have not posted in a long time! Things have changed. I don't want to get into the details, but I will say that due to circumstances beyond my control, Rick and I have seperated. I know, I know, the shortest marraige in history. Yes, all my marraige fears came true. But enough about that, the main thing, is that I now have custody of his kids, as well as my own! SEVEN children, by myself! Wow it has been a crazy few months.

Recent happenings:

Brittney and Kyley attended the Jack Monroe Beach Ride in Myrtle Beach. Pics to come soon.