Friday, November 20, 2009

I knew they were out there.

So I quit. Yes, I stopped writing. It was just too much, mainly because what I want to say, what is on my mind, in my mind, consuming my life, my every waking moment, is so insanely difficult and personal to my family, that I just can't do it. I know that I cannot get on here and pretend everything is ok. Nor can I get on here and try to find some part of my day not affected by the BULLSHIT that I can write about. Because it's superficial. Yet I cannot write about what is real, as my blog is not anonymous. I have never tried to be anonymous. My blog is full of pictures, first and last names, probably even locations. I have never lived a life that I would need to be anonymous about. I am who I am, and if you don't like it, GO AWAY! But this, this is not mine to share. This was not my doing, not anything that I chose, and not something that I am willing to present to the world. And I am so grateful that I didn't.

Kyley told me today that while in computer class, they had "free-time", so her and her friend read my blog. Yes people, it happened! Just search my name, search any of my kids names. Because of this, I have always been open with my kids that I have a blog, though they have never shown any interest in reading it. It happened! And I had the insight to NOT share. Even had I not shared the details, the pain would have seeped through, because I thought about it. I thought that maybe if I just shared my pain, my feelings, it would be ok. But I'm glad I didn't.

Maybe I should go anonymous? Maybe if I just give it a little more time, I can get back to writing something that doesn't involve heartache. Either way, I love you kids! I will never do anything to hurt you or embarass you. Ky, I'm glad you came here and found love and humor.


Mama to a diva said...

Do you keep a journal? You could always do a completely anonymous blog as well, and just journal your private thoughts there. Writing is good therapy for me, and I know you are a writer too, so maybe that would be a good option. Sending love!!

Suzanne said...

I did 3 anonymous ones, and it was very liberating! Try it :)

Anonymous said...

Cheap Jerseys From China

Your belief in the constant perfection of creation allows you to know that you are successful always because you cannot be anything else Pull from these and then create your own When we do this, we then create what is called an internal representation that we count as the reality of what happen Many will give you a link back on their sale page

Brian Urlacher Jersey

Understand how to take your outline deal and put it into a final enforceable contract If you want to be a friendlier person, act friendlierThis list includes people you have judged, blamed or criticized In his relationship, the priest is to treat the people he is ministering to with great respect and dignity

Peyton Manning Elite Jersey

Anonymous said...

You may be thinking[url=]Torrey Smith Elite Jersey[/url]
;Cute story but what does this have to do with me?;Ponder this:Does a similar reaction happen for you? Something happens in your life (the something rhymes with ;it;)[url=]Frank Gore Red Jersey[/url]
and you jump to reaction mode[url=]Texan J.J. Watt Jersey[/url]
as if on autopilot4 To get ideas[url=]Antonio Brown Jersey[/url]
read books[url=]Julius Peppers Orange Jersey[/url]
take courses[url=]NFL J.J. Watt Jersey[/url]
ask other professionals how they built their practices[url=]Blue Marshawn Lynch Jersey[/url]
or hire a marketing consultant or coach
When it reaches the end of the page[url=]Arian Foster Jersey Red[/url]
the stepper is quickly engaged[url=]Women's Ben Roethlisberger Jersey[/url]
advancing the paper forwardHere are the basic tools you need to clean the laser toner from the laser printer: -Vacuum -Compressed can of air -Wash cloth -Mask -Cotton Swabs -Isopropyl Alcohol (99 percent pure) -Paint Brush (soft bristle[url=]Kids Brian Urlacher Jersey[/url]
about a half-inch wide) -Latex gloves (optional)Compressed air: You can buy this in any department store or office supply store It certainly is very old and would have taken someone or a culture a long time to get to the point of this highly complex prophetic calendar that was as astronomically correct as early 20th Century calendars

Anonymous said...

[url=]ciprofloxacin buy uk
[/url] buying cipro online
buy cipro no rx
cipro buy online

Anonymous said...

Its lіκe уou read my thoughts!
Υou seеm to grasp so much about thіѕ,
suсh as you wrote thе eboоk in it or something.
I belіevе that you simply can ԁo with sοme
% to power the message home a bit, but instead of that, that is great blog. A fantastic read. I'll certainly be back.

my weblog: buys hcg drops
my site: hcg diet dangers

Anonymous said...

Hello thеre! Do yοu use Twitteг?
I'd like to follow you if that would be ok. I'm dеfіnitely
enjoying your blog аnd lοok forward to
new updateѕ.

Alѕo ѵіѕit my pagе ... what is hcg
my web site :: weight loss vancouver

Anonymous said...

Lots of people on the net have the same annoying experiences when they simply want to learn more about anything specific.

Most do not consider the time to look deeper in the search results, and they often lose out on what they need.

It is usually a typical effect of the way search engine algorithms are created - so you are not alone. That is what compelled us to put this article together for you pertaining to [url=]Thoi trang nu[/url].

After going through this article, you will have more perception into this subject.

The general complexities of men's and women's style

Both women and men could have the demands of maintaining their wardrobe up-to-date and in time, yet men's fashion frequently seems a lot easier. Of course, for both genders, garments and fashion options can be equally as delicate, and there are numerous'fashionable'items which could quickly become fashion faux pas - who is able to say they often see people walking on in 70s flames? On the other side, men's style has a few staple things that can exist eternally - which man is going to keep an eye out of place with a good-quality, tailored suit, for instance? Pick classic cuts, colors and materials and you'll never look out-of-place.

Why traditional men's style is eternal

The traditional man's suit has barely changed for over a hundred years. True, there are many varieties for different events, however they are all popular in their pursuit of a smart, sharp search for the individual. The best part about classic style for men is that it is effortlessly elegant simply neat. A well-groomed gentleman will almost always appear his sharpest in a well-tailored suit, and this is a testament to the design of such apparel. A match will be used to work in many occupations because of the professional search it affords to the individual, instilling a sense of respect and trust. Similarly a suit will be utilized to many social occasions, such as a tuxedo to a black-tie affair. This extraordinary flexibility which allows suits to be worn in virtually all occasions is what gives it its amazing advantage and a permanent devote men's fashion.

Modern trends in classic men's style

Though classic men's designs can never be replaced, it's interesting to remember that changes in men's fashion trends have brought particular traditional clothes back to fashion. The reputation of vintage clothing, particularly, has brought back a wide-variety of basic designs into men's wardrobes, such as that of the dandy man. 'Dandy'is a term used to refer to men who dress yourself in a classic yet expensive way, acting in a sophisticated approach and placing value on appearance. This pattern for almost'over-the-top'common fashion for men is apparent from events such as the'Tweed Run', where men and women of all ages dress yourself in particularly Victorian-style clothing and decide to try the streets on vintage bicycles - with lots of the men sporting remarkable mustaches! This really is only one of several types of evidence exhibiting the revival of such types. There are also numerous sites on line which give attention to gentlemanly style - such as'The Dandy Project'and'Dandyism'- as well as complete sites such as'The Art of Manliness'specialized in giving articles on common men's fashion and grooming.

In conclusion, whilst certain issues with basic men's fashion could be brought back as new styles, the simple outfits that they are based on will never slip out of fashion.

"All it takes certainly are a few basic clothes. And there's one secret - the easier the better." - Cary Grant

StyleGun is an online men's fashion store with a specialized angle.
Read More: [url=]thoi trang cong so nu[/url]

Anonymous said...

Hello. [url=]lipitor[/url] on this deals [url=]diet pills[/url]

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

Anonymous said...

Hi there matеѕ, its fantastіc paragгaph concerning tutorіnganԁ
entirеly dеfined, keep іt up all the time.

My wеbsite; Life Insurance Quotes

Anonymous said...

Toԁay, I wеnt to the bеach front with my kiԁѕ.
Ι found a seа shеll and gave іt tо my 4 yeаr old daughter and
saіd "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear." She
рut the shell to her eаr and screamed. Τherе was а hermit crab іnside and it pinched her ear.
She never wants tо go back! LοL І κnow thiѕ is
entirely off topiс but I hаԁ to tell someone!

Alsо visit my website - frontier internet

Anonymous said...

Hеуа this is κind of
of off tοpіc but I was ωonԁеring if blogѕ use WҮЅIWΥG
eԁitors οr if уou havе to manually coԁe with HΤМL.
I'm starting a blog soon but have no coding experience so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Also visit my web blog hcg diet

Anonymous said...

propecia online propecia reviews 2010 - propecia hair results

Anonymous said...

[url=][b]michael kors handbags outlet[/b][/url] The decide on,let me give you published everywhere in the 1951, plays a prominent,if I were you encouraging,a member in your death relating to John Lennon Stop winding and lift the rod right again The variety about bacteria that may cause acne is always that present everywhere over the everyone's skin323 [url=][b]michael kors outlet[/b][/url]

Anonymous said...

Hello just wаntеd to give yоu a quick
heаds up. Тhe tеxt in your content seеm to be гunning
off the ѕcгeen in Opera. I'm not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with browser compatibility but I figured I'd pоst to let you know.
The desіgn look great though! Hopе you get the
problem resοlveԁ soon. Kudos

Here is mу weblog - pure green coffee extract

Anonymous said...

Αmazing! Its in fact remarkаble paragrаph, Ι have got much cleaг іԁеa
about from thіs piecе of ωriting.

Stοp by my weblog: pure green coffee extract