Thursday, February 26, 2009

Just saying

Leesa wrote:
Getting married is scary business. But there are scarier things . . . yeah, I know there are. Does this make you feel better? How about going off to Iraq instead of getting married? Yeah, getting married seems to be okay, after all.

HHhhhhmmmm....Did you read any of my blog?

1st of all, no, the thought of going to Iraq does not make me feel better. What kind of question is that? Secondly, had you clicked on any other pages in my blog, you would know that I experience all levels of fear on a regular basis. Your comment implies that fear is only valid if the cause of the fear is a calamity. I have experienced these, my whole life. Fear is fear. It provokes the same physical and emotional symptoms whether the root of the fear is marriage or the knowledge that my stepson has a 50% chance of being alive at 18.

On the day that I wrote that post, my fear was based on entering myself and my children into a lifelong commitment, not only legal, but as a promise to God, that only 50% of couples succeed at. That is a good fear. Healthy. And I have a right to be afraid. I have seen first hand the devastation that divorce can have on the soul, the very being of those who have to experience it. And I thank God that my life is in a place that I am writing about that fear right now. Not about losing my house, as so many people are facing, or the probable loss of a child, as I have had to face in my past. But, it's FEAR, and it's MINE. Don't come to MY blog and leave a condescending comment, as if my fear is not good enough.


Mama to a diva said...

You should feel comfortable posting your feelings and your fears here on your blog. You're right, it's your blog. And people do experience fear on many levels, what's scary for one person may not be for another, but there's nothing wrong with that. Love you!

Kristine said...

Well said and I completely agree. I was pretty agravated at the comment so I can only imagine how you felt. It seems to me that anyone who has read even a tiny bit of your blog understood your post about being afraid. I'm glad that you felt comfortable enough and are at a place in your life where you can understand the fear. You right, it is a very healthy fear and shows that you are looking at your marriage in a realistic way instead of the 'fairy tale'. It seems to me that already puts you in the running to stay on the happy side of the 50%.

Shannie said...

Oh my. Um, yeah. WTH??? That's a seriously crappy comment. Totally missing the point there, weren't we, crappy commenter???